


To Fight Monsters, We Created Monsters

by rilakumabear



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-04
Updated: 2014-12-04
Packaged: 2018-02-28 02:00:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2714837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rilakumabear/pseuds/rilakumabear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pacific Rim AU.</p>
<p>"Today, we're cancelling the apocalypse," Yunho snarls. To his left, Changmin nods. Together, they move as one, feeling the enormous machine shift into position opposite the Kaiju alien.</p>
<p>The Jaeger glows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Fight Monsters, We Created Monsters

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: The plot of this fic isn't exactly mine, it's heavily based off the 2013 film. So if you haven't seen it, this might contain spoilers. Kinda. Also, the title is taken from the main tagline for the film. You might need to watch it to understand some references though ^^"

“Sir, you still haven’t told me what the hell I’m doing here.”

The military base is extensive: acres wide and still miles deep underground. Yunho steps out of the elevator behind his commanding officer. He had been working on a construction site, keeping a low profile, when his former general had turned up out of nowhere and plucked him from obscurity and into this army stronghold. General Choi turns back to him, a small smile on his face, and gestures towards the huge Jaeger that stands beside them. “I need a pilot, Jung. You were my first choice.”

Yunho stares at the gigantic machine, unable to help the memories that flood his brain at the familiar sight. The Jaeger, a towering humanoid machine, looks like an old model- probably still analogue, Yunho decides- and gleams with freshly coated titanium plates.

“With all due respect, Sir,” Yunho begins hesitantly. “I don’t pilot anymore. Not since-”

“I heard about your sister, Jung,” the General interrupts, not unkindly. “And I’m sorry to drag you into this again, but frankly, I have no choice. Our planet is on the brink of an apocalypse, and we need all the help we can get.”

Yunho sighs. “Sir, even if I agree, Jaegers need two pilots. I worked with my sister because we shared a strong bond. If you can somehow find a co-pilot for me on such short notice, I doubt we’ll have a strong enough connection to withhold the Neural Handshake.”

The General frowns. “Jung, perhaps, I didn’t make myself quite clear. The situation is _desperate._ I’m fully aware of how badly this could go, but if we’re going down, we’re going down fighting. Now, I’ve drawn up a short list of all the possible candidates to become your co-pilot. You can spar with them to see who is your best match, and you _will_ help me on this mission. Am I understood?”

Yunho salutes, knowing there is no other option. “Yes, Sir!”

*

His room is small and cramped, but Yunho doesn’t really mind. He owns very few possessions; it simply felt pointless to keep anything with little purpose. One thing he does have, though, is a dog-eared photo of him and Jihye, which he sticks to the wall beside his bed.

It had been his younger sisters’ idea to sign up for piloting the Jaegers. After the fifth Kaiju, or alien creature, that had invaded the planet, they had both signed up for the army immediately. Their parents had been killed in the attack and they were desperate to help prevent others experiencing the same devastation they’d gone through. Yunho had been worried out of his mind at the thought of his little sister willingly throwing herself in harm’s way, but she was feisty, and he found some comfort in the fact he was at least able to keep an eye on her at all times. They both excelled in the army, gaining the support and respect of their peers, particularly Jihye, who was initially looked down upon for being a female.

And then Jihye decided she wanted to pilot a Jaeger.

“This is ridiculous,” Yunho had shouted angrily back then. “Joining the army was bad enough, now you want to get up close and personal with those alien freaks? You’ll get yourself killed!”

“I want to help!” Jihye had yelled back. “What’s the point of joining the army if all we do is deliver food for the needy? I want to fight; I want to wipe those things out-”

“Do you remember how our parents died, Jihye?” Yunho snapped. “Kaijus aren’t cute little green Martians, they’re the size of skyscrapers and we know next to nothing about them. Just keep your head down and stay alive!”

“So what if I die?” Jihye rolled her eyes. “It’s no big deal-”

A white hot fury had slammed itself into Yunho’s chest, and before he knew it, he hands dart out to grab Jihye by the shoulders, hard. They both froze, Jihye’s eyes wide with disbelief as Yunho slowly, deliberately, lowered his arms.

“Jihye,” he whispered. “You’re my only family. I cannot lose you.”

They hugged then, quiet in the aftermath of their row.

“I know you’re scared, brother,” Jihye said softly. “But you need to understand why I want to do this. I want to kill them, even if it means getting hurt myself. I want them off our planet.”

It had taken three weeks before Yunho made his decision. He waited until they had a moment together, then simply said: “We’ll sign up together.”

A knock on the door of his solitary bunker snaps Yunho back from his old memories. He stands to open the door, revealing a tall man in a blue jumpsuit.

“Jung Yunho?”

“Yes?”

“I’m Shim Changmin, I was ordered to direct you to the sparring den. It’s time for you to find a co-pilot.”

“Thanks. Please, lead the way.” Yunho closes the door behind him and follows Shim Changmin through a labyrinth of corridors. Sneaking a few glances in the other man’s direction, Yunho takes in Changmin’s toned body and the planes of his face. Fuck, he was hot. Just as the thought enters his head, Changmin turns to face him. Embarrassed to be caught staring, Yunho asks: “So, how long have you worked here, Changmin?”

“Sixteen years,” Changmin replies, looking unfazed as Yunho makes a noise of surprise. “My entire family was wiped out when the first attack happened on the Korean shores- they were fishermen. General Choi was the Jaeger pilot who fought back then. He found me and I have been by his side ever since.”

“Shit,” Yunho murmurs. “I’m sorry. I lost my parents in a Kaiju attack too.”

“Well, that’s why we’re all here, isn’t it?” Changmin states matter-of-factly. “So we can defeat them. Is that why you became a Jaeger pilot?”

“Uh, it’s a little complicated,” Yunho murmurs, thinking of Jihye, as they turn into the sparring den, which is filled with dozens of people. “So are you sparring, too? Co-pilots are ideally similar in terms of physicality, and you’re a similar size to me.”

“Actually, no, I’m not,” Changmin replies. His voice sounds casual, but he turns his face away, and Yunho can see how tightly his jaw is clenched. Before he has any time to wonder about that particular backstory, General Choi takes a hold of him, and leads him to the centre of the sparring den. A rough circle sketched in chalk is the only outline of his fighting space. Changmin leaves to stand by the edge of the room, a clipboard in hand.

“Candidates!” General Choi booms over the ruckus of dozens of people. “Step forward and form an orderly line here. If you’re here just to watch, either get back to work or get out of the way.” He pauses as everyone quickly hurries to wherever they were assigned. “This is Jung Yunho, he will be the pilot for Cassiopeia, the last unpiloted Jaeger we have in our possession. Now, as we all know, Jaegers require two pilots.  Candidates are required to have a similar physical capability, so in order to do that, you’ll all have your turn sparring with Jung here. The best matches will be further eliminated with a mental compatibility test later. Any questions?”

“No, Sir!” The candidates reply. Yunho notices there are only six of them, and none of them have a similar build to him. He sneaks a side glance to Changmin, the only person other than General Choi in the room who matched his height, and wonders why the young man isn’t a candidate, too.

“Well, then,” Choi says. “Let’s begin.”

The first to step up is a skinny boy named Taemin. With his delicate features, he could almost pass as a girl, if it weren’t for his broader shoulders and lean form.

“I’m not going to go easy on you,” Yunho warns, shifting his weight to the balls of his feet.

Taemin grins. “No need.”

With lightning speed, the younger boy kicks out, stopping his foot just by Yunho’s ear. The crowd hoots in laughter- Yunho’s barely moved a muscle, and his face warms in embarrassment.

“One zero, to Taemin,” Changmin calls from across the room.

Gritting his teeth, Yunho twists his body, throwing a punch and stopping just before he breaks the kids’ jaw.

“One- one,” comes Changmin’s voice. Taemin’s eyes narrow, evidently not expecting his opponent to be so good. Yunho smirks. For a second, they slowly circle each other, assessing their rival, then at the same time, they both rush towards each other. It’s exhilarating, the rush of adrenaline; and Yunho relishes it, barely hearing the crowd egging them on and Changmin calling out the score. Yunho feints to the left, sidestepping neatly when the younger boy falls for it, crashing inelegantly to the ground.

“Six three to Yunho,” Changmin calls out the final score. For some reason, he sounds annoyed. General Choi stands beside him, nodding thoughtfully. He gestures to the next candidate, as Yunho extends a hand to help the younger boy to his feet.

“Good fight, kid,” he praises him. Taemin grins.

“No problem. You’re better than I thought! If I get to become your co-pilot, you’ll teach me some moves, right?”

Yunho chuckles. “Sure.” He claps Taemin on the back and gets ready for the next spars.

It’s been a while since he’s had to fight close combat, even if it’s just practice. Even so, the moves come back to him easily, and in minutes he’s sent Kangin crashing to the floor, the stocky man looking stunned. Next, an older cadet called Rain with bulging muscles is unable to keep up with Yunho’s quick footwork, stumbling over his own feet. Then he easily defeats Jiyong, a cadet with bright blond hair who kept insisting his name was G-Dragon, flipping the younger male over and twisting his arm behind his back. After that, he spars with Psy, a portly middle aged man who had shrieked and danced around him like a horse rather than actually fight. Last but not least, he spars with BoA, a tiny but feisty young woman who reminds him of Jihye a little. Despite her slender frame, she’s by far the best fighter out of all the candidates, but even so, it’s not long before Yunho defeats her, stopping his knee just before it crashes into her face. The crowd around him cheers in admiration, and BoA tells him it’s the first time a pilot has sparred and won against all his opponents.

“Final score, four- two to Yunho,” Changmin calls over the noise. “Rain and BoA have the best scores, so you two will be later tested for mental similarity.” Yunho glances over, feeling a spike of annoyance when he sees the other man frowning.

“Hey, what’s your problem?” He asks, unable to keep quiet. Changmin glances up, surprised. “It’s just that every time you read out the scores, you sound pissed off. Come on, BoA told me I made a new record here. I beat all of them!”

Changmin scowls. “That’s the point, Jung. You’re not supposed to beat all of them! We’re looking for a co-pilot who’s able to match you in terms of physicality; the fact that you beat them so easily means that no one here is really a good match. Besides, you didn’t fight fair. You went too easy; you could have beaten any of them at _least_ two moves before you actually finished!”

The crowd quietens, and Changmin flushes, as if he hadn’t meant to burst out like that. Yunho scoffs. “Fine, you think you know my fighting style so well, huh? Why don’t you fight me instead?”

A ripple of interest goes through the crowd. General Choi steps forward, bringing an arm up to silence the crowd. “No. That’s enough. We’ve narrowed the candidates down to Rain and BoA. That will be all.”

“Wait, Sir,” Changmin protests. “Let me have a go, I’m sure I could-”

“No!” the General snaps, his temper flaring before he regains composure.

“Why not?” Yunho asks, puzzled. “You can see for yourself Changmin suits me the best physically. We’re practically the same height and size, why can’t he have a go?”

The General glares daggers at him, but anyone could see that he didn’t have a good reason for not letting Changmin fight. He gestures for Changmin to step forward, and the younger man, eyes bright with anticipation, drops the clipboard and enters the ring.

Keeping in mind that Changmin had observed him through six fights, Yunho suppresses the instinct to use his typical moves. They circle each other slowly, eyes fixed on the other. It’s a slow tango, but neither of them knows who the lead dancer is yet. Then, with absolute precision, Changmin lashes out, his long body twisting gracefully in the small space, reaching for Yunho, and before he knows it, he finds himself on the floor.

“One zero to me,” Changmin breathes, removing his knee from Yunho’s stomach.

Yunho jumps back to his feet, irritated and more focused than ever. He makes the most of other man’s excitement, drawing out the seconds until Changmin’s patience runs out, and he kicks, aiming for Yunho’s throat. Yunho sidesteps easily, and the crown murmurs in excitement. Carried forward by momentum, Changmin almost loses his balance, but in the split second he takes to recover his equilibrium, Yunho’s aiming for his jaw, stopping short by a hair’s breadth. “One – one,” he grins down at the other man, panting heavily. The adrenaline coursing through him morphs into arousal, as he takes in the sight of Changmin focused and eyes gleaming like a feral animal.

The eager crowd whoops in delight, and Yunho can hear his and Changmin’s names being called, egging them on. They both spar in earnest now, moving quickly and focused entirely on the other. With delight, Yunho realises that the other man is almost a total match physically; he’s able to keep up with Yunho so much they both find themselves shifting from attack to defence to attack again in rapid succession. He’s not sure how much time passes before General Choi calls for them to stop. Breathing hard, Yunho looks to the crowd, who are still cheering wildly.

“Seven- seven to you both,” BoA tells them, looking impressed.

Yunho grins when he hears that, turning to Changmin. “You hear that? You’re my co-pilot!”

At this, the General frowns. “Alright, everyone, break it up. The show’s over.”

When the room clears, Changmin turns to the General. “Sir- does this mean-”

“It seems you are the best choice, Shim.” The General admits, then addresses them both. “You’re free for dinner now, but at twenty hundred hours, the two of you will report to the labs for further compatibility testing. Dismissed.”

“Yes, Sir,” they salute their senior officer, then leave then room.

“Well, congratulations,” Yunho grins. The other man is obviously over the moon at being selected, though he tries to hide it. “I don’t get it, though, why was Choi so determined not to let you do it? I mean, it was obvious from the start you were the best choice. It would have saved a lot of trouble.”

Changmin shrugs. “He’s known me for a long time…” he murmurs vaguely.

Yunho nods, thinking about it. Changmin had mentioned before that he had been by the General’s side for sixteen years- obviously the young cadet was like a son to the General. He could understand why Choi had been so reluctant to let Changmin take on such a dangerous job- he had been the same with Jihye.

“Here’s my bunker,” Changmin says, gesturing to a room directly opposite Yunho’s. “You can come over if you get bored. I don’t have much, but maybe if you want any company?”

“That’d be great, thanks,” Yunho smiles. “Maybe after dinner?”

“We have to go the labs,” Changmin reminds him. “But maybe after that.”

When they arrive at the canteen, they’re instantly swarmed by cadets everywhere- it seemed as if news had travelled fast, and everyone wanted to hear about the now legendary match.

“Over here!” Yunho spots Kangin, a previous sparring candidate, waving from a few tables away. “We got you guys some food already, we figured you’d be mobbed as soon as you got here.”

They thank him, settling down into their seats as Psy shoos away the nosy crowd.

“That was an impressive spar before,” Rain tells them, with a smile. He and the other candidates, as well as some unknown faces were squashed around the table. It seemed none of them held any hard feelings for getting completely thrashed by Yunho before. “And Shim! You sly thing, I had no idea you could fight like that!”

Changmin politely thanks him, keeping a cool composure, but Yunho notices the tips of his ears turning an adorable shade of pink. The praise obviously meant a lot to him.

“So I guess you two will be piloting Cassiopeia, then?” Taemin leans forward to ask.

“Well, it’s not confirmed yet, we have more tests later to see if we’re mentally compatible too, but I think it’s looking good,” Yunho indulges them, and a chatter of excitement runs through their small gathering.

“Then you should be introduced to the other pilots,” BoA says, gesturing to three pretty girls clustered beside her. “This is TaeTiSeo.”

“Uh, what?” Yunho asks.

“I’m Taeyeon, this is Tiffany, and our baby, Seohyun,” the shortest girl tells him, rolling her eyes at BoA. “We pilot Genie, the pink Jaeger.”

“Of course it had to be pink, Tiffany refused to pilot it otherwise,” Seohyun explains, giggling. The three of them laugh together, and Yunho thinks they look more like a girl group than soldiers bearing the burden of humanity.

“And I’m Kang Gary,” a tanned male introduces himself. “I pilot the Jaeger Monday with my wife, Jihyo.” He gestures to a slender woman by his side. She doesn’t bother saying anything, only coolly nodding in their direction. Gary grins broadly. “I named the Jaeger, because Jihyo and I first met on a Monday!”

“That’s so sweet,” Yunho enthuses, cutting short when Jihyo smacks her husband’s head, blushing.

“Idiot, why do you have to tell everyone that!”

“Because it’s romantic, JiHyo-ah…”

The table bursts into laughter, and despite the bickering, it’s clear the couple are very much in love.

“Are you not going to introduce us, as well?” a loud voice drawls, and Yunho turns his head to look at the newcomers. A tall male and female step into view, their uniform impeccable despite being off duty on the short dinner break.

“Saving the best for last, perhaps, BoA?” The female smirks, then turns to Yunho. “I’m Kim Dani, and this is my co-pilot Dansoo. We’re twins.”

“They pilot Judas,” G-Dragon murmurs under his breath. “And they think they’re the best.”

“We _are_ the best, Jiyong,” Dansoo drawls, and G-Dragon blushes at being caught. “That’s why we were picked to lead the team. Which means we’ll have to rely on you two newbies to watch our back.” He gives them a withering stare. “Somehow, I’m not particularly confident.”

“Enough of your crap,” Rain says sternly. “You weren’t there to see their fight. I’ve never seen two people so physically compatible before; and they’ve only just met-”

“Exactly why I’m worried,” Dansoo interrupts loudly. “They’ve only just met, but the better the bond that co-pilots share, the better they fight.”

“Yunho has years of experience, and Changmin has worked with Jaegers for a long time,” Taeyeon snaps in their defence. “Changmin even participated in the engineering of the Jaegers! If it weren’t for his designs, you couldn’t claim to be such good pilots.”

Dani scoffs. “The point still stands. The next Kaijus are predicted to arrive within the next few weeks, and I can’t trust the two of you to have our backs.”

“Look, I understand your reservations,” Yunho begins diplomatically. “But we still have enough time. The bond between co-pilots isn’t about being best friends, it’s about trust and understanding. And yes, Changmin and I only met this morning, but we’re going to work hard on it. Right, Changmin?”

“O-of course,” Changmin blurts, flushed. The twins don’t look very impressed.

“Forgive me if I remain sceptical,” Dansoo says coldy. “This one here,” he gestures at Changmin, “has never manned a Jaeger before in his life, and you,” he pauses, staring at Yunho,” the last time you piloted a Jaeger, you got your sister killed.”

He’s up on his feet before he knows it, fist balled and smashing into Dansoo’s face. Yunho pulls back, ready to deliver another blow, but Rain springs up, and this time, Yunho can’t escape the muscled clutch of the older man. Swearing, Dani reaches for her brother, who’s trying to simultaneously stopper a bleeding nose and attack Yunho.

“Cut it out!” Rain bellows at the twins. “That’s quite enough. Dansoo, you fucking idiot, you went too far. Now get out of here before we get caught for causing a fuss. I don’t fancy running fifty laps just after dinner.” He keeps a tight hold on Yunho until the twins have retreated out of the room. The rest of the cafeteria is quiet, watching Yunho.

“You alright?” Seohyun asks softly.

“Yeah,” Yunho mutters, unable to meet their eyes. His good mood has completely evaporated, and his appetite has gone. “I’m-I’m gonna head back to my room. I’ll see you guys later.”

Taemin murmurs a protest, which quickly dies down as Rain murmurs, “Let him be, kid.” To the rest of the hall, he calls, “Show’s over children. Eat your fucking food or get out.” Even with his back turned to the room, it’s clear to Yunho that Rain has much authority over the junior cadets.

With his bunker door closed behind him, Yunho finally lets out a long breath, eyes immediately going to the picture he has taped of himself and Jihye. They’re in their military gear, Yunho’s arm slung protectively over her shoulders as they grin broadly into the camera lens. Things were simpler back then.

A quiet knock on his door brings him back. Opening the heavy metal entrance, Yunho is surprised to find Changmin there.

“I came to see if you were alright,” he says softly. “Also I bought you some food.” He holds up a giant bowl of rice, laden with kimchi and various meats.

“Oh, thanks,” Yunho replies dully, “But I’m not really hungry.”

Changmin shrugs. “I’ll eat it then.” He hesitates. “Can I come in?”

Yunho says nothing as he steps aside to let the other man enter, perching on his bed and holding that ridiculously large bowl of rice. He spots the picture. “That’s your sister?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Yunho says, sinking down onto the bed beside him.

“Sorry,” Changmin flushes. “You really don’t wanna eat this?”

When Yunho shakes his head, the other soldier starts spooning rice into his mouth.

“How many people know about my sister?” Yunho asks quietly, staring at the floor. “I’ve only just met Dansoo, and he knew. So how any others?”

“We all know,” Changmin admits softly. A fist seems to squeeze itself around Yunho’s heart, pressing firmly until his vision swims and his stomach churns. “Look, it’s not exactly like people have been gossiping,” Changmin explains. “But we’ve needed a Jaeger pilot for months. The last couple of pilots were killed in the Russian attack last year. Your name came up so… I guess it was inevitable for people to get curious. No one thinks it’s your fault, though, Dansoo was just being a prick-”

“That’s the thing,” Yunho laughs with no humour. “It _was_ my fault.”

He doesn’t bother to elaborate, and mercifully, Changmin decides not to press it. They don’t talk, except for the odd bit of conversation Changmin keeps bringing up, perhaps to fill the silence. He finds out that the cadet is two years younger than him, that he had originally gone into engineering to help create the Jaegers and other methods of weaponry. And then had decided that it wasn’t enough to simply sit behind the scenes, he wanted to fight on the front line, but General Choi had never let him put his name forward as a candidate. Yunho simply listens, not contributing to the conversation much, but all the same, he’s grateful for the company to take his mind off Jihye.

At seven forty five, Changmin gently reminds him of their mental compatibility tests, so Yunho blindly follows the younger man into the labs, where a host of white-coated staff members and General Choi are waiting.

“Soldiers,” he greets them sombrely. “You will enter the control room of the Jaeger Cassiopeia, fully suited as if ready for combat. We will initiate the Neural Handshake, and if the results are good, then you will be confirmed as co-pilots for battle. Understood?”

“Yes, Sir,” they reply, and General Choi nods, gesturing for them to get suited up. The atmosphere is quiet, a little tense, and Yunho’s glad to leave it behind when they step into Cassiopeia.

“You okay?” he murmurs to Changmin. The younger man nods, looking sick. Yunho remembers that it’s the first time he’s actually been on the inside of a Jaeger, let alone pilot one. “Look, the Neural Handshake can be a bit overwhelming, especially the first time. It works best if you have a strong bond, but since we just met this morning...” he hesitates. “All I’m saying is that it’s not gonna be easy. Just relax, and don’t get too stuck on any memories or emotions that might come up; they’re just recollections of the past. If you follow them, it’s hard to get back out. You could end up doing some really awful neural damage on yourself.”

“Got it,” Changmin mutters, strapping himself in. Yunho smiles broadly, trying to reassure him, but there’s a barely-suppressed part of him that wants to scream hysterically at how crazy the situation was: a total amateur and a flawed ex-pilot expected to control such a giant piece of machinery that was humanity’s last chance of survival.

“Ready?” General Choi’s voice comes in over the intercom.

“Yes, Sir,” they both reply.

A soothing female mechanical voice comes on over the speakers.

_Initiating Neural Handshake in three, two, one…_

A flash of blue light, a tight squeezing sensation across the body, and Yunho is standing knee deep in the ocean, looking out at a fishing port- it must be Changmin’s childhood memory. The scene cuts, and the water is turbulent, screams everywhere. In the distance, a Kaiju rises from the water, the alien probably a Catergory 4. It flails in the water, overturning boats as easily as one could with toys in a bathtub. With an aching heart, Yunho wonders which boat Changmin’s family must be on. The scene before him skips, like a broken tape, and he watches as a Jaeger smashes into the Kaiju, as people on the shore line scream and run as far as they can from the devastating battle. The scene cuts once more, and he is following a young boy through the ruined streets. It’s eerily quiet, and debris is still settling. The boy is quietly sobbing, trudging through the upheaved streets and whimpering for his mother.

“Changmin,” Yunho breathes. The scene cuts- they’re further from the roads now, and Changmin is peeking out from behind a wastebin, warily eying the military forces that surround the area. Yunho watches as a Jaeger pilot- General Choi, almost two decades younger, but recognisable nonetheless- steps into the same alleyway, spotting Changmin with surprise-

They’re in the military base which Yunho recognises immediately. He watches, as Changmin grows up in the strict environment, dedicating himself to studying in engineering. He feels the slow yearning that builds in the younger man, to operate the Jaeger and return a hero. He listens as Changmin vents out his frustrations to someone called Kyuhyun, and feels the same sadness Changmin felt when he wasn’t able to visit his friend as much as he wanted to. He flinches as General Choi turns him down as a candidate again, and again, and again, so Changmin secretly learns fighting techniques from the other cadets, studies all he can about the Kaiju, and hopes desperately for a compatible partner-

And there, there is Yunho, opening the door to his bunker when they first meet, backlit like an angel and smiling warmly- and-

Changmin wants to fuck Yunho.

What, _what_ \- Yunho balks in astonishment. He’s only supposed to let the memories and emotions flow past him like a river, but he can’t help himself, following the small memory, watching it unravel as he clings tighter.

Yes, here- Changmin sees Yunho and his mind empties, his dick swells, the other man is _hot,_ so handsome and beautiful and Changmin pictures fucking into Yunho across the small bunker bed, bent over a desk, tied up to a headboard and whimpering as the younger man rides him-

And then, then the man is sparring and he looks delectable, all sweaty and muscles rippling, and then General _actually lets Changmin spar-_ finally, he is a candidate, and he fights Yunho with adrenaline and lust all mixed up inside-

_Too far in._

With difficulty, Yunho forces himself to release the memory, and it slips past him like river water.

He opens his eyes inside Cassiopeia. It takes a second to clear his head, and slowly it dawns on him that an alarm is going off, red lights flashing.

_Warning. Neural Handshake is unstable. Please disconnect pilots and power down. Warning. Neural Handshake is unstable-_

“Changmin!” Yunho shouts. The younger man is staring at him, his eyes unseeing, and Yunho knows exactly which memory Changmin’s tapping into. Across from him, Changmin would see Jihye, not Yunho. He’ll watch as the side of the Jaeger is torn straight off, will hear Jihye’s screams as she’s ripped from the machine and Yunho cries himself hoarse, calling for her, but it’s too late-

“CHANGMIN,” Yunho bellows.

“Jung!” General Choi shouts through the intercom. “You need to get Changmin to focus on coming back, he’s too far in, he could irreparably damage his neural system if he stays in your memories- get him out, get him out, _get him out_ -”

Yunho tries wrestles out of the multiple straps and wires of the harness that attach him to Cassiopeia, but there are too many. “Changmin! Listen to me! It’s not real! Get out of there, you’re going in too deep!”

_And here- here is where Yunho sobs in fear and heartbreak and anger- he’ll lift his arm and the Jaeger will follow his action- a Pulse Launcher will load in the palm of the Jaeger, ready to blast into the Kaiju-_

“CHANGMIN,” Yunho screams inside Cassiopeia’s cockpit, panic threatening to overwhelm as he hears the unmistakable sound of a Pulse Launcher loading.

The eyes of the younger cadet suddenly focus on Yunho, and Yunho screams at him, “Listen to me! Follow my voice! We’re here, in the Jaeger, Jihye is gone, just come back to me-”

At that, Changmin makes deliberate movements to steady himself: the Pulse Launcher cancels, powering down and the red lights go off. The soothing mechanical voice comes back, updating on the Jaeger’s status, but Yunho ignores it, staring at his co-pilot.

Changmin is breathing heavily, eyes wide as he realises how close to danger they had been. His face is smeared with sweat and tears, whether at the memory or at their inevitable retribution, Yunho is uncertain. 

“You okay?” He asks, somewhat anticlimactically, and Changmin nods, head bowed. “Let’s get out of here. Time to face the music.”

When they exit the Jaeger, the room is completely silent. General Choi’s face is a carefully composed canvas, but Yunho can still see the fury and fear behind the mask.

“Soldiers,” he spits out.

“Sir, I’m sorry, it was my fault-” Yunho begins. “I made the Neural Handshake unstable first, by following a memory.”

“I didn’t ask you to say anything, Jung,” Choi snaps. He turns his attention to Changmin, who’s staring back, on the verge of tears. “Shim. I took into account that you’re a beginner. I didn’t want you in there but I thought we should take the risk. That was an error on my behalf. Rest assured it will not happen again.”

“Permission to be dismissed, Sir,” Changmin croaks out, a single tear snaking its way down his face.

Choi nods. “Permission granted. I’ll speak with you later.”

When the younger cadet has left the room, the staff begins to murmur amongst themselves, many of them barely hiding their disgust.

_Could have gotten us all killed, what was the General thinking, letting him in there? I knew he was going to be bad, but this was ridiculous-_

“Jung,” Choi addresses him. “It seems that Cassiopeia will not be joining the battle after all. Return to your bunker, and in the morning you will be assigned to another division.”

“Sir, with all due respect,” Yunho says, “I know we can do this, just give Changmin another chance, he just needs to get used to it!”

“Another chance? He almost blew a hole through the military base. We are the last standing obstacle between the Kaiju and our world apocalypse and you think I should risk it all because Changmin got his feelings hurt?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Yunho murmurs in defeat.

“Then get back to your bunker.”

As he turns to leave, Yunho tries one last time. “Sir, I was in his head. I know how hard he’s worked to get this close, how much he’s studied. I know he’s made a huge mistake tonight, but I’ve also seen his potential. We’re an amazing match, especially as we barely know one another. Please, just, give him another chance.”

His stomach rumbles as he heads back. Yunho feels a little light headed from the adrenaline leaving his system and remembers he’s barely eaten dinner. As he makes his way through the corridors, cadets blatantly stare, muttering behind hands once he’s past them, but Yunho’s too tired to care, only grateful that he doesn’t bump into any familiar faces he would be obliged to talk to.

Finally, he gets to his bunker, and on the handle is a small plastic bag. Curious, Yunho looks inside to find a few buns, an apple and a packet of mixed nuts. There’s also a note.

_I remembered you didn’t have dinner, so eat this instead- C_

Yunho glances across the hallway, to Changmin’s’ bunker, considering if he should go over to comfort the other man. But the small gap between the metal door and the floor doesn’t show any light, so presumably Changmin’s gone to bed already. Resigned, Yunho steps into his own bunker, taking a bite of apple gratefully. He kisses two fingers and presses them against Jihye’s face on the photo, ready to turn in for the night.

“Jihye-ah, it’s been a crazy first day.”

**Author's Note:**

> Never thought I'd write Psy into a fic, tbh.... Please still love me.


End file.
